the past

So like I've said before my past always seems to find me at the worse time....


wait wait before I get on that...

Im SUPER horny right now.. Not like I can ignore it horny but the horny like you're ready to jump on the next thing with a pulse horny..

Anyways, I was talking with, I'm call her Real, Real and I have known each other for quiet some time now. We have that off and on type friendship.. There could've been an us a while ago but not so much now because things have changed on both of our ends. I moved away for school and she just isn't over her ex, at all. Well, yesterday Real asked, " would I want to be more than friends?" My heart and my mind are screaming inside of me YES YES YES! But I avoid answering that question.

Near the beginning of the year I wrote a poem I guess you could call it about her and how she made me feel and how I felt and sent it to her.. She said it made her feel special but nothing more came from the poem except bad news.

flame

A flame

That still burns

Despite the drama

The past

I know I still

Feel the burn

That warms me

See the flame

To guide me

The burning flame

Reminds me

You exist

And there could be a we

The fire u speak

Turns me

Back to you

My flame that burns

Insipred by Real

01/16/10

She says we can't get together because she is fighting to get her ex back. She knows that her and her ex has a slim to none chance of getting bak together. I'm trying to save her from the hurt that she's going to face because I've been in her shoes two to three times before. I missed so many opportunities chasing after people who didn't want to be with me anymore, so they would use me for whatever I had and be done with me and I would be still without them. Its a hard thing to stomach but I've let go and learned that things can't go as planned.

I read this quote today: "We can't put our future on hold for something that the past wouldn't allow to work." I stand by that quote because its true. If I was still wishing and hoping that H2 would talk to me or still tell me that she loved me; that I would be better off. It took a long while to realize I didn't need her anymore and that what we had was just a stepping stone to lead me to my future unto something better and greater.

But in the end, I can't save someone that doesn't want to be saved nor can I help them.