It seems like everytime I'M talking about something important.....she falls asleep.....I understand she got up at 4am probably earlier for work and has to get up the next day at the same time to do it all over again...but when will I get put first? I dont know why I was expected to be put first in this relationship cuz I was never put first in any of the rest. Something, someone always came before me. I guess I allow myself to be put second....I'm just worn out and tired.... I cried today in all my classes, cuz I called to wake her up at 4am and as soon as we got on the phone she says, " I dont want to talk right now to you" and hung up. I didn't get the chance to say I love u or why....nothing.....i love her though and sense i've been treated like this in all my relations i think this is the best i can get but i know i can do better on my own...but i need someone t/here even if im gettin treated the low of the lowest...
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Will always be Tashia her ego is so high...tonight i was fussing with her and i started to yell, she says "dont yell at me cuz i can always do better" I began to cry cuz I was growin frustrated and she's like "why the fuck are YOU crying." Like i have no space to cry no time for the tears on my end,like i shouldnt be crying... I am so strong but the strong gets weak at time and she doesnt understand that.She doesnt think I initiate anything at all. she thinks i wait for her to do everything which isnt the case...im timid and shy in her presence but she expects me to know this and that, when i only knows what she tells me. im not a mind reader...
Im losing it slowly with everything...school,health,money and time...i cant wait for a change cuz it'll never come.... I'VE gotta change it...
I miss my sunset days...
3 comments:
Hey...I'm sorry you're going through so much. I'm not going to be negative, although the urge is killing me, but I just want you to know I think you're wonderful. The few conversations we've had, even the short ones brighten my day. I remember when you came to visit before my booty call and how bubbly you'd gotten me. BE STRONG YO! BE HAPPY...*sigh* I keep saying I'm going to visit...so today or Sunday...I'm going to. We can talk about everything and anything lets blab for hours...
Bee
You could've said the negative it would've been okay I just wana know the truth about things and know what your mind is thinking..
Okay...
If a bitch can't give you the same respect that you give her, then she doesn't deserve you. The hardest thing to do is change a person. I'm not saying you want to change her, but when you're with a stubborn person there's only so much you can do with them because they are always stern on their OWN thoughts. You love her, and if she loves you she'd give you all the attention in the world just because its you, even if she doesn't want to listen. You deserve better. You should never settle because you're "used" to it. Never settle. Hell Jay...I just wanna say be mine! lol But never settle because it's what you're used to. A relationship is 50/50...remember that!
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