feels like the time is right.....i gotta pack my bag and go

about a hour ago i had alot on my mind and i was gonna come here and say it all but i forgot it.... so i'll just say whats been going on

Earlier this week, i decided to let everything go and just become nonchalant about life, things seem to be better that way. Tashia and I had been arguing for a week or so about her wrong doing. she asked me if i wanted to go and i couldn't brinfg myself to say yes cuz i really dont wana go its not anything holding me back from doing so, idk its really hard to explain. don't think im afraid to be alone cuz im not..im just....idk...i think i just dont wana fall back into my old ways, they did me no good.. I think i lost alot of potential life long relationships due to me not feeling worthy enough... i said in this relationship, this time, no matter how rough things got i would stay just to see what happens, i really just want to make it a year with her...for some strange reason...i know ppl say alot but do more, but if her and i dont last i will be alone at least for the next 5 years just to venture off alone and worry about my own...i guess i could be doin that now but idk im still in my late youth and i dont want to right now.i let the whole cheating thing go , i mean its still there but im not losing sleep over it anymore nor am i stressing over.....idk last week felt like i was being kicked when i was already on my knees, this long distance relationship is really killing me.

soon ima have to fly out to arizona and pick up my nephews cuz my sister has gone out of her mind and outside of the box..i would put her business out there but my business is enough. im finally think im gettin some shit accomplished in school i cant remember or obtain anything due to a lack of remembering things but i think im doing okay for what it is

on the 21st i think ima go see tashia if i have a car by then which i really hope i do cuz i cant take another damn weekend on a&m campus with no way to escape im tired of just sittin here its really causing me to be depressed. last week i also went without eating,literally for like the whole week. i feel fine tho i ate this weekend we'll see if i feel like eating this week..

Question: When someone says their gona get tested, does that mean you should be ocncerned or their just being safe?
cuz tashia said she was going to get tested, definitely before her and i had sex again idk if i should be scared. i dont think i will be having sex with her for a while though..my sex drive has dwindled since i found out she fucked another girl......