a love of my own

Ok. Its ok. It doesnt even matter.no ones gonna save me.....i dont think i can b n a relationship like this jasmine. Id rather b ur friend. We're gonna break before i break us irreperably. I love u. Plz dont blame anyonr but me. Im broken and until i can fix me....i dont wanna b anybodys project. Thank you for trying to help me...u'll never understand what ur presence in my life means....with u i wont b selfish...so i cant allow u to stay here with me....not until im better. I love you so much baby and this is why i have to do thys....i have to make it on my own ....i swear im not running ....im just focusing on fixing me so we can b sumthin better than this.11/11/08

That's what she said to me...i guess we're on a break or a temporary leave...i just felt like a job that u did nothing at but you still got paid for,but quit cuz ur not gettin paid enough....makes sense? i feel that way cuz she left or we broke up cuz she had tofix herself and some things but yet i was there when noone else was and i still am, i feel dumb at times but right for her wrong...

i think i love 2 ppl at once

I met P way before i met Tashia, fucked P before Tashia,loved P before I loved Tashia...SO why am I not with P? she doesnt have her shit together and is way out in az... like she works at a convenient store 50+ hours...she lives with her ex's family..shes scared and really needs to work on her before being committed to me...so im not with her BUT im not with tashia cuz tashia's mind isnt together,but she has her shit together, shes just fighting herself within she needs her time..and i guess i need mines too... im lost within my mind and myself hinestly, thats how i like it..cuz i only have to worry about me but im tired of being all about me.. idk

I had a dream about my ex from highschool. we dated for a year and a half, best relationship i had. I really miss her. but unfortunately i broke her heart and we dont talk, we havent talked for going on 2 years now. i really wish we would so i could havee closure or a friendship like i do with the rest of my ex's but she's showed me i cant always have what i want..i just really miss her..and still love her...dearly

but im going to go look for a car today, wish me luck

-J